the question,,


One said that to travel is to see, to taste, to smell, to listen, and to experience; using all of our senses to live up the journey.

But what I’ve been doing here for the last 2 years is more than just that kind of travelling.

I’m here to forget.


After finishing my study in Paris, I decided to stay here. I then met Tony, the owner of the fruit store where I worked now. I also managed to get a job as a freelance writer for some magazines, writing mostly about art and tourism.

Everything was just fine. Until yesterday.

I received an email.

An email that will make me forget to forget.

A wedding invitation.


So here I am, sitting on the riverside. Eating strawberries with million crazy ideas buzzing in my head.
Tony approached me.
“We’re supposed to sell those strawberries, not eat them, you know?” Tony teased me.
“I know. Do you want some?” I asked. With still some smile on my face.
“Absolutely! Those strawberries are good, right?”
“Best one in town, hehe,,”
“So, wanna share me about what happened? You kept silent since yesterday. Did something bother you?”
I handed to him the invitation.
“What is it?”
“A wedding invitation”
“One of your friend’s?”
I nodded.
“Hmm. So, he will finally marry to that girl? What’s her name again? Bella?”
“That’s the correct name, but apparently it’s not her that he will be married to.”
“What? Aren’t you leaving him so that he can be with Bella?”
“Oh, wow. Not as expected, eh?”
“And I need to know the reason why he did that”
“What? Oh, no, no. You’re not thinking to go back and see him, aren’t you?”
I nodded again.
“Are you crazy? The tickets will cost you all of your savings! Hell, You might not be able to buy the return ticket!”
And I nodded once again.
“Oh, Nis. You don’t have to do this, you know. You will get hurt again”
“I want to do this, Tony. I NEED to do this. I need to ask him the question”
“So this means goodbye to me”
I nod again.
He hugged me.
I cried.



sedih rasanya mendengarkan seseorang yang sudah berpengalaman puluhan tahun di suatu bidang berkata kepada saya bahwa beliau tidak akan memberi saran atau mengoreksi suatu kesalahan jika tidak diminta oleh orang yang memerlukan.

saya percaya bahwa tangan di atas lebih baik daripada tangan di bawah. percaya bahwa memberi pertolongan tidak harus menunggu diminta. percaya bahwa ketika ada sesuatu yang salah, kita berkewajiban untuk mengoreksi kesalahan tersebut.

dan saya percaya bahwa ilmu yang bermanfaat akan menjadi bekal bagi kita di surga kelak.

so it just doesn’t feel right, what he said.

“ya Allah, aku berlindung kepada Mu dari ilmu yang tidak bermanfaat, hati yang tidak khusyu’, jiwa yang tidak merasa puas, dan doa yang tidak didengar”